Top 4 games we want to play in 2015: Shaun’s picks

 Grand Theft Auto V and Grand Theft Auto: Online


Pretty much a year ago and a bit I was loading up Grand Theft Auto V onto my PS3 because that’s what you do when the latest and greatest game series is released… on the PS3 and Xbox 360 only. So basically I was downgrading controllability from my previous super-fun experience on PC with GTAIV and going to the archaic PS3 with it’s 10 year old hardware and… well it has a Blu-Ray player so that’s pretty good.

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GTA Online: Car Review

Hi everyone, it’s been a while since I have posted something so I thought it’d be best if I stopped this laziness and since I haven’t bleated on about GTA in quite some time, why not say something about it. (Throughout this article I am going to assume you play GTA V. If you don’t, read on for silly musings, if you do then you are with fine company.)

I am still waiting with anticipation for Rockstar to release GTA V on the PC and after so long I have padded myself out quite nicely in Los Santos and I am kind of dreading doing it all again from the beginning on PC (Rockstar, please allow cross platform save or at least a transfer function). I have been there, done that and got most of the best stuff, the experience really is all about the mighty dollar. You buy a new bunch of duds and next month a new pack comes out with a raft of new goodies for you to buy, Rockstar is pandering to the consumer in all of us. Most of the time I buy stuff my character doesn’t even need like recently a set of top hats which look pretty silly on a female character cost me $5,000 a pop plus a new super car setting me back $500,000 which after modifications to make it better and faster (same thing right?) probably put the bill at $800,000, all said and done I spent $1.5 million on the lot.

Oh Shaun, you are a wasteful chap playing a female character with a wardrobe to rival Paris Hilton’s and a garage that could make Jay Leno weak at the knees, in Los Santos aren’t you… yes and no. Where there is no waste is in that garage because I love cars of most shapes and sizes, that much everyone except you knows already. What appeals to me is more vehicular temple with shiny floors and lighting like an art gallery all for slick and sexy sports and super cars than edwardian mansion overlooking the dales with a modest shed to house the carts. And so the diatribe about cars begins as I have spent a fair bit of my life here in this virtual toy box and when you do this many burnouts along with much opposite lock on stretches of beautiful sun drenched tarmac you begin to form an opinion.

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Jay who?

If you just started playing you might be poor, very poor as your bank account is in $100s and you do not have anywhere to remain safe from the hoards of crazy and maligned players who look for people like you to kill. That isn’t fair nor fun but you persist because you’ve had a look at your online web browser on your in-game phone and seen websites like or and they have many shiny cars that you want so let me help you there:

Let’s start with things you probably want now because they’re new from “The Business Update” as in only this week could you actually begin to purchase them, all of us who have been playing since GTA V came out had to wait with you too:

Grotti Turismo R

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Looks fast, goes quite fast and scrapes alot

You fancy yourself a little well off after playing that one larger paying mission over-and-over again and now you have in excess of 1.5 million in your GTA$ account, you need the most expensive of the newly released cars to give you the thrills. Yes it is exciting and stylish and you will get looks from everyone when you drive it with some caveats. Firstly everyone has been saving up for it so at the moment it is like any new fangled thing, it’s getting around. Secondly it’s actually not that fast, I drove this thing on the highway and at full chat to find I was passing cars like they were stuck in reasonable traffic and not like they were parked, this is depressing.

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For the less fortunate this is the view they will need to remain comfortable with, until the next bumpy corner that is.

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She’s looks good but with a nose like that it only means trouble as soon as the road isn’t glass smooth

Handling wise it turns in quite nicely however it has a tendency to break traction at the rear under slightly bumpy conditions and in terms of predictability it’s as good as the weather service which means in the game of keeping it mint while you doddle about, many points are lost (style and man ones included). If you, like me mince about a lot parking it on the high street waiting for the gasps and nice comments from toffs about your car, then you can appreciate the sleekness of this car as it looks good. Bring the very low bodywork near a kerb however and you find that the Turismo R is not like other cars which hop up the kerb, this one grinds it’s skirts so you park up too close and you end up with a great big gash in the lower part of your fender making you look incompetent. The other part of the problem is the nose is so long and low that exiting your apartment or LSCustoms comes with scratch marks on the nose, now everyone is laughing at your and their misfortunes.

I feel Rockstar is kind of making a joke of all those of us with enough cash, properly introducing us to the world of exclusive hypercars, all their foibles and the knobs who buy them, touché.

Dinka Jester

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No spoiler, looks sleek and mean in a funny way, like leering at an enemy, for which you have many.

Everyone thought this would be the coming of the Supra to our pixel rich world, they were wrong because instead we got the next NSX, and we are better for it. A properly modern design that for us in real life, isn’t even obtainable yet unless you are Tony Stark. Initial impressions are that this car is small and tight in a good way where they seem to use only what is needed to make the car and make it look fast. Short front and back overhangs and mid engine supercar looks seem to suggest the Jester punches above it’s weight.
For the car mod fans (really, who isn’t in this game) there are a raft of aggressive parts to make your Jester your own although I did notice that going ‘up’ in the cost brackets when choosing parts for this car doesn’t necessarily end with a good looking car as they have given you the chance to make  it look pretty much like a hill climbing racer and therefore beneficial to you like a large wart is right on the nose.

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The Jester mucking about at night with super dark tint, surely this car isn’t legal like that.

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Nice behind

Driving around and you notice immediately that the engine note is far too coarse for a car like this, though with time you appreciate it as the car is quite aggressive in acceleration. Handling is sharp with a tendency towards understeer however some handbrake and opposite lock (oh look at me) and you can slide about like a hero. I haven’t had the chance to take the car to an event like “Drift King” to really shake down the handling characteristics when oversteering but the AWD platform seems to be quite docile, easy even to drive unlike the odd 9F and it’s AWD chassis that has a tendency to want to put you in a wall wherever possible (maybe I am not very good with that car).
Bonus points need to be awarded for not being the first choice of the cashed up nutters yet shining through as the surprise package and so desirable it too like the Turismo R, looks good in the more fashionable districts. Put tasteful mods on this one with some nice wheels and maybe skip the roll cage (I put the race components on) to be uber understated cool.

Grotti Carbonizzare

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Well-proportioned but something is amiss with that front.

This is a car that has been around since the beginning and yet it is worth a mention as my late bloomer choice. I didn’t want to like this car, it looked like a Japanese sports car front and a pretty italian coachbuild in the back with a lovely roofline. Though I spent many hours staring at the back of most cars when I drive them I knew the front of the Carbonizzare wasn’t quite right and in that way it put me off.
Rewind to 2 months ago and I, like many of the other players had 500+ million dollars and nothing to do except kill things so I bought one and fully specified it until it was scary. By now I had gone through each car available and where some things were right, many experiments in car modification went wrong, for this car though it went right.
The Carbonizzare is a front engined rear drive Italian sports car sporting a high-revving V8 and I put everything that was available on it except custom tyres as the high-revving nature seemed to suggest it could drift, which it does very well. The Carbonizzare’s engine is the real party piece as it bounces off the rev limiter while you slide sideways, it’s a joy on the twisty stuff.

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Drop top mode, basking in the afternoon light.

Styling is still a little suspect with the oddity that is the front but folding origami hard top roof up or down the car is quite good looking, pretty even when you consider the curves that make the rear. Not that it really matters because you will be having too much fun executing smooth effortless drifts from street to street after which you can park it and admire… from the rear.

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With a bum like that…

More mentions:

Entity XF – Buy it, probably the best handling supercar and the second most expensive after the Adder (yuck and can’t handle ice cream in a bowl). Everyone who knows… buys the Entity for precision and performance.

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On it’s way to another race. All this car seems to do is race.

Coquette – The Corvette look alike and a little bit prettier than the real thing, it has GT racing modifications that don’t go off the handle and can really stick it to all the Sports class cars. It was my first choice for a sports car and I would do it again. Has a detachable roof so you can cruise around like a poseur or stick the carbon roof back on and race like a mad man. It has some sudden traction breakaway issues as the chassis is stiff but for the money it’s a great car that looks the business.


Looking fine in gold. All my cars have a backstory like why she owns one and what it was for. This is an ex-racer, I say no more.

Stinger GT – If you collect then maybe you want something you can admire like poetry in motion yet standing still. Ok that’s nonsense because you want something expensive you can show off to your friends so why not drop $875K on a Ferrari 250 GTO doppelgänger? Handling characteristics are sharp… for a car from the 60s. You will also find it oversteers whenever the accelerator is depressed but it doesn’t matter when money looks this good. Opt out of getting whitewalls to spoil the look and make it properly classic, this one below uses lowrider wire spoke wheels to make it look right (original wheels are the size of bottletops).

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Pretty much all this car is great for is looking fantastic. God agreed and shone a ray of light to seal his approval.


GTA Online: You must be bored by now

I decided to write a suggestion letter to Rockstar about things I’d like to see:

Hi Guys,

Big fan of the GTA series.

At present I am really enjoying GTA Online and have suggestions for features (No particular order):
– Ability to move cars around in the garage via a hud window (like the context menu) where cars can be swapped into position
– More modification parts for the cars and ability to add more top speed via transmission rather than acceleration or possibly the chance to make a compromise between the two. Love the cars btw, Coquette is officially my favourite.
– Cross platform character progress – I really enjoy the game and have never sunk this many hours in such quick succession into any one game before. I will, like GTA 4 before it buy the PC version of GTA V/Online when it comes out and play with my PC based buddies. I know you’re putting in the work to make the PC version as good as it can possibly be so I ask kindly, no wait I implore you to allow me to import my GTA Online progress to the PC version as well. Currently I have fun with the PS3 version however I can’t help but feel that in some ways I am wasting away time that will be better invested in the PC version where I will inhabit for the foreseeable future when it comes out, what can i say I am a keyboard and mouse guy.
– Post mission passive mode – I have had points where after a game I get shot just because I was running to my car. This isn’t that big a deal but would it be possible for like 20 seconds of god mode while you get away from the lunatics that you were just killing merryweather dudes alongside?
– Crew only or Friend only option from within an Online game – I like the Crew/Friend only session option, it means I can be with people I trust. When starting GTAO from GTAV the option is there to get onto a Crew/Friend only session but I can’t find the option when you are already in a GTAO session. Can that be an option rather then exiting GTAO and starting GTAO again.
– Go back to where you came from – Before a mission if you are on a session by yourself or with friends would it be possible to go back there after a mission? Sometimes it’s necessary to re-invite people again to the server and sometimes resorting to the PSN messaging system which takes a while to write anything. Starting with friends and then ending up alone is lonely.
– Car randomisation – I am not sure if everybody is harking on about this but I find that car spawns seem to be a bit repetitive and not for lack of the selection, for one I know I haven’t seen an Obey Tailgater except the one on Michael’s drive in single player and never in GTAO. There are a shed load of Cavilvades and Issis though when you don’t want one. Handy = Gallivanters and a lot of them to sell so no problem with that.
– Car Armor – Could the glass be armored as well? Drive-bys could make the window go down or something? 360 degree shooting is wildly unrealistic anyway.

Best Regards and great work, keep it up!


Grand Theft Auto V: I’m packed and ready for my vacation


That will be me, minus the 20+ years of sun and plus some Clooney

If you are reading this then you, like me are waiting anxiously for the release of the much hyped, much loved game in the line of the one of the greatest most storied franchises in the history all thumbstick and keyboard history. In some ways it’s a chance at a vacation to LA except it’s Los Santos and people are going to be trying to kill me.

I will admit that there is some paranoia in my mind for tomorrow when the doors open and I am allowed to pick up my copy of GTA V. Why? Well I could get mugged, I’m not some muscle dude with a penchant for beat-em-ups IRL. I like puppies, small kittens and motorcycle accidents when I watch youtube, ASMR videos are also great, straight up violence is reserved purely for the virtual world.

But who cares about that stuff because what do we know about the game for sure?

– It’s set in Los Santos and the game map can fit Liberty City (GTA IV) as well as all of the map from GTA: SA
– 3 protagonists, 3 different points of view to get you grounded in all aspects, from glitz and glamour to the hoods to the stix, quickly and without using just the linear storyline to take you there.
– Modifiable cars – More than that you can purchase cars and own them, you can retrieve cars from the impound lot if lost (destroyed?).
– Customisable weapons – Guns are not lost after death which is handy
– The Almighty Dollar – Not just cars but homes and planes can be bought and stored, think Test Drive Unlimited with more freedom to do even more
– Mission Customisation – Not only can you plan and execute missions/heists according to your choice, you can play the characters you want to play during the mission. 3 different perspectives. What I am not entirely sure of is whether the perspectives can be forced, can I play just Michael during the whole mission?
– Better car physics – GTA IV wasn’t to everyone’s taste last time around, I for one did not mind it although I remember loading it up back in 2008 to find that I had no idea why cars were so weird to drive versus the lo-fi GTA: SA which was actually fun. Cars handle more arcade racer like for a better experience because driving is great and a part of GTA V but it’s not everything so why not make it fun?
– Side Missions – A lot of them, diving, hunting, racing (always), extreme sports, triathlons (returning from SA), bounty hunting the list is quite long.
– Television – GTA IV had some TV on the… TV (in game) but it was just a footnote. It seems that the player’s actions could be recorded to be played back in a television bulletin or a “Cops” style TV show. I was watching the TV spots on the GTA V website and I was blown away at the production quality and attention to detail that went into what would generally be a throw away side note, may now genuinely be a fantastic component of the game. Do crime, go home at the end of the day after being chased by the cops to review all the carnage and chaos on the news!
– Checkpoint mid-mission saves – So you don’t have to replay the whole mission again if you fail just like TBOGT
– Inside house can see outside house – Interiors are a big deal in GTA V with shop fronts and homes/apartments having an uninterrupted view of the outside, possibly (finally) even seamless transition.
– There is a car that looks like an Aston Martin DB5 – you can pretend to be James Bond in LA
– Animals make an appearance under the section of things that can you can hunt or be hunted by. Franklin has a dog which is great because COD Ghosts also has dogs and that is a big deal for the COD universe (lol).
– Missions are replayable – Fantastic, you now have 3 different perspectives and endless iterations of that to play again and again.
– Rockstar have almost deliberately setup the PS4 and XBox One launches to fail as everyone will still be playing GTA V and GTA Online and won’t be bothered with anything else.

Tonight on Los Santos' Most Wanted

Tonight on Los Santos’ Most Wanted

Things that are hinted but not confirmed:
– GTA Online hints at the possibility that San Fierro and Las Venturas might make a return in the “constantly expanding world” (fingers crossed!)
– You can change the clothing of the 3 protagonists however it doesn’t seem to be possible for the haircut as it might detract from the trademark look.
– GTA Online player characters seem to not have a voice hence “That was awkward”
– Seasons – Postcards on the official page appear to have landmarks in different seasons, could the game run through different seasons?
– Want to buy a house in a nice neighborhood? Cause a lot of destruction and chaos in the place where you want to buy and drive house prices down so you can buy on the cheap and then cause chaos in another neighborhood to take the heat off your county to let prices go back up again. Same goes for shares except cause destruction for the entities linked to the company i.e. securavans, airplanes, offices and branches.
– Grove St is back and bigger (Thanks to Carl) – Everyone is wearing green in Franklin’s intro video. Purple features too, so the Front Yard Ballas might also be making a return as Franklin’s enemies.


Ducati 1098 – Also good as rolling gun platform

Things I am hoping for:
– Meet characters from the older series in LS – I love the idea of meeting Niko, Carl, Tommy or Claude again and not just for some passing scene but a whole mission maybe and seeing how they developed after their storyline ended in the previous game? We embodied the characters for a short time, want to see them again for old times sake.
– The other 2 cities from San Andreas later on with possibly more storyline for the main game. Doubtful on more main story addition as the end of a GTA usually comes with a finality

Things I am wondering:
– How would a purchase of an apartment work when you are on your own 16 player server? What if someone bought the same apartment on another server and then joined you on yours? Would you own the same place or would you magically warp to another level on the same apartment. Assuming the outside could see inside (i.e. the kidnap mission from the gameplay trailer). Would there be a problem with dual ownership and locations on the building?
– When you steal a car can you then respray it and then “register” it so you own it properly?
– Would money earned in the SP missions be used in the MP world?
– Does wearing the hat from the collectors edition, while playing the game automatically make you a big baller and does the Playstation Eye/Kinect see that and make you a level 100 badass in the game? (ok maybe not)

Bring on September 17th!


Saints Row IV: Same stuff, now with more fun


Carjacking, shooting dead, speeding, flying, running, insulting, punching and blowing-up these are a few of the things you are doing in Saints Row IV. If you isolate them like that it seems like a ticket to a penitentiary, what i didn’t say was speeding faster than a car while running, punching so hard that the target explodes, flying/gliding like a bird after jumping off a building. What is obvious is that realism really isn’t the key, non-stop excessive fun at the expense of virtual NPCs is. When a game includes the ‘Dubstep Gun’ alongside the usual armaments for pixelated purveyors of death and destruction, you just know it’s time to suspend your disbelief and pop your huge sociopath cat shaped hat on.

The Boss and Crew. She looks a heck of a lot like Lara Croft don't you think?

This is not the same world as before, Zinyak has taken over. The Boss looks like a sexier and more dangerous Lara Croft, now with 400% more posse

The Boss has never looked better

Just in case you needed convincing, that she looks like Lara

and another picture just to make absolutely certain

and another picture just to make absolutely certain

Saints Row has proven itself to be a viable contender in the Grand Theft Auto-style or sandbox game genre. It makes no attempt at trying to be better than GTA or wanting to compete directly with GTA except that it’s also an open-world albeit a wacky and insane one. They might be doing this out of respect, it might also be fear because Rockstar, makers of the GTA series gives as good as anyone else and when they feel threatened (outside of the legal aspects anyway) they strike with parodies or in-jokes about the offending game or developer within their own games. For Saints Row being so off kelter is not such a bad thing and with the hijinks players got in the previous installment, Volition must have thought ‘let’s turn this s#!t up to 11, no screw that how about 12 or 13?’. Care towards character development or a deep storyline were kind of set a side to allow for the craziest set pieces, weapons you probably haven’t thought of and strippers, lots of near nude women walking around Steelport’s streets.

That's big, the UFO thing that is

That’s big, the UFO thing that is

For this instalment of the Saints Row franchise we see the addition of super-powers to the player character and weird happenings in the city of Steelport (similar in most ways to the previous version). Without giving away too much it’s kind of like ‘The Matrix’ except not so full of itself as well as Mass Effect 3 except not serious… in any way. Also I made my character look almost exactly like Lara Croft and that is cool because walking around kicking-ass and taking names is much better when the character looks like the hottest virtual female character ever to grace the computer monitor, chase camera is a grand thing. It’s this customisation-ability that sets Saints Row apart from the average, I was bored playing The Bureau, I needed something to liven things up and fill in the gap between now and GTA V. Playing this game now, I am wondering how much fun GTA V will be when you can’t leap buildings in a single bound or perform super smackdowns.

Launching from static. like Neo

Launching from static. like Neo

Leaping buildings in a single bound, as opposed to 2 or 3 bounds

Leaping buildings in a single bound, as opposed to 2 or 3 bounds

Super speed makes cars redundant

Super speed makes cars redundant

Speeding, not a crime when it's sans vehicle

Speeding, not a crime when it’s sans vehicle

Gliding, falling with style - As your powers develop you can run faster and glide further

Gliding, falling with style – As your powers develop you can run faster and glide further

It looks like she's tickling this zin alien...

It looks like she’s tickling this zin alien…

...Nope she's just stuck her hand right into his chest cavity

…Nope she’s just stuck her hand right into his chest cavity

This looks like a sex act in mid-air...

This looks like a sex act in mid-air…

...Ends with a slam so hard he pulverizes

…Ends with a slam so hard he pulverizes

This could be painful for the zin

This could be painful for the zin





Puny human

Puny human

Wrestling moves are awesome

Wrestling moves are awesome

More awesome when you have superpowers

More awesome when you have superpowers

Blur of blood and pain

Blur of blood and pain

Have you ever been so mad you just swung an alien by the leg?

Have you ever been so mad you just swung an alien by the leg?

Lara... flexible

Lara… flexible

So in essence Saints Row IV is crazy fun, it’s kind of like a big block of DLC except the graphics engine has been polished somewhat. The lighting effects are nicer and all the more important as most of the game is spent in darker hours or aboard a large moveable object suspended in the void of space. Play to run faster than the fastest car, jump so high you can flip off invading aliens and then smash them so hard on the ground with super strength they become pulverized, this is the game Infamous and Prototype avoided being. Saints goes far to be ridiculous, so much so that it includes a wheel modification at an in-game shop called ‘Rim Jobs’ that looks like glowing dicks for spokes, I think you see where this is going – nothing is sacred.

One of my favourite guns in the game, the Dubstep Gun. Makes music and kills baddies dead. Also civilians dance to the beat

One of my favourite guns in the game, the Dubstep Gun. Makes music and kills baddies dead. Also civilians dance to the beat to cool lights

Same city, new objectives

Same city, new objectives

Tomb Wars

Lara taking on the aliens with a laser sword, this = awesome

Steelport - Not the same as we remember it

Steelport – Not the same as we remember it

You go around collecting these "Clusters" to upgrade powers

You go around collecting these ‘Clusters’ to upgrade powers

Another of the side quests is destroying power generators to take down shields

Another of the side quests is destroying power generators to take down shields with your bare hands

Power generator destroyed!

Power generator destroyed! Look at the lighting effects



These things change from red to blue when you take them down

These things changes from red to blue when you take them down

For all the super powers a girl still has needs, like this supercar for instance... requisitioned from the local police

For all the superpowers a girl still has needs, like this supercar for instance… requisitioned from the local police, cheers Mr Wayne

I wish there was something important to say or a segue to something profound and deep about how Saints Row IV is a commentary on the deepest desires of the teenager and young person in western society but it isn’t. What is for me is a whopping good time, a generous serve of lunacy sprinkled with crack.

Oh you came for pictures? Have some more freshly snapped ones (click for hi-res)

Kinzie makes a return

Kinzie makes a return as your guide… oracle if you must

That's Keith David!

That’s Keith David, Vice President of the USA

Walk into the glowing door

Walk into the glowing door, the fate of the world rests on your lithe, toned shoulders

SR4 takes you to interesting locales like this virtual world... again

SR4 takes you to interesting locales like this virtual world… again

Text adventure SR4 style

Text adventure SR4 style

The Boss and Keith David share a moment

The Boss and Keith David share a moment

The team near the beginning, about to gain a fourth

The team near the beginning, about to gain a fourth

Matt Miller! escaping the alien ship with goop all over... reminds me of a movie

Matt Miller! escaping the alien ship covered in goop… reminds me of a movie

Oversized mech suit, nothing is beyond SR4

Oversized mech suit, nothing is beyond SR4

Boss calls dibs

Boss calls dibs

Keith David recreational

Keith David recreational

Pods with humans inside... where do I find Neo?

Pods with humans inside… where do I find Neo?

Some rail shooting action

Some rail shooting action

Do you play Saints Row IV and want to know how to get your character to look like mine? Check out youtube for a tutorial video for all the settings at Image as Desired.


Grand Theft Auto V: Online


The trailer is out!

Why are you reading this?

Trawl the forums, watch the video and comment (maybe not in that order).

I like many of you avid gamers had the opportunity to watch the video this morning and I can safely say that the premise is great. Rockstar have chosen to listen to the fans and it seems that we are going to have a much more involved experience with RPG  or Second Life-like elements; purchasing property and cars and generally getting busy in a beautiful open world like San Andreas (better version of Test Drive Unlimited?). With GTA IV you felt it, you could see the potential for a really great online experience if only they fleshed it out with some ownership of “things”. I could feel it with every fibre of my being when I ran amok or just stuffed around with my buddies online in free mode… imagine being able to be a cop and going toe to toe with some huge street gang who in turn are fighting their own turf war in a massive detailed world like Liberty City, it would be incredible!

Some things I’m thinking about:

– Outside is visible from inside so I guess you could snipe someone from outside in their own home which is a great segue to…
– What if a friend who has joined the server you are on and they happen to have bought the same apartment or house as you except on another server. That whole ability to kill someone from outside would suggest the building can’t be fudged with another floor right?
– The world will not be static, Rockstar eludes to more map coming up.
– More missions! I think everyone who has played any of the GTA games gets that feeling after the credits roll that the fun with the story is more or less over. Sure you can invite Roman to play darts again but it’s not the same, the amazing story telling and the 3-dimensional characters all stop and you Claude/Tommy/Carl/Niko/Johnny/Luis end up in what is still a great big city/county but you really have nobody to talk to. You’re on your own now and no one wants to talk to you. With the GTAO trailer we saw some of the story cast come back to give you new objectives, it’s like starting again but with your own character. GTAV in some ways is the intro to what is possible, GTAO is putting that to practice.

Exciting times, check the video: